


Insomnia

by HelenF_AKA_Sucker_For_Fandom_Shipping



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Connor is exhausted, Evan is worried, Fluff, I love to torture Connor, Insomnia, M/M, Zoe and Jared are worried, mostly fluff tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 09:31:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13587243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenF_AKA_Sucker_For_Fandom_Shipping/pseuds/HelenF_AKA_Sucker_For_Fandom_Shipping
Summary: Connor had insomnia for a long time. When he started dating Evan, he sterted sleeping just fine.But one day, it decided to strike again.Now Evan has to figure out what to do with his exhausted boyfriend.





	Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SO SO SO SORRY!!!!  
> I didn't post anything for a long time!  
> School is kicking my ass right now, and it was very hard to find strenght and motivation to write anything.
> 
> I wrote this fanfiction based on my problems with my insomnia. The way I described Connor's insomnia is based on my own experience.
> 
> I can't call this my best fanfiction probably, but I'm trying to do everything I can with my condition.
> 
> WARNING! IMPORTANT! I live in Ukraine, and English is my second, or technically third language. I'm really sorry, if you find any mistakes! I try my best to avoid them. 
> 
> I hope you will like my fanfiction! Have a nice day!
> 
> See you soon....Hopefully....  
> (School, please, stop kicking my ass..)

Connor couldn’t fucking sleep right now. When he started dating Evan, it wasn’t all bad, but for some reason it decided to strike him again. It was infuriating. He hated his insomnia. He slept for 3 hours in a day, if he got lucky.

Sure, when you have insomnia, you barely sleep. It actually gives you much more time to do some shit in the Internet. But you still will feel like shit in the end.

Insomnia is a funny thing actually. If you don’t sleep for whole night, in the day, your brain will shut down, and you can do shit and not care about it. Sure, it’s a cool at first, you feel numb. But then again you will have to fight sleep almost physically in school. He can’t fall asleep in school, his teachers will kick his ass if he did.

But, Connor actually would like to sleep like, right now. But every time he fell asleep he got terrible nightmares. He couldn’t sleep like that.

“Fuck...Insomnia is a big bitch.” It was true. There wasn’t even anything he could do. 

He couldn’t call Evan, he was probably asleep. The tall teen didn’t want to bother him. He already felt like a burden almost all of the time.

He couldn’t fall asleep by himself. He tried millions of options. He tried falling asleep listening to music, watching shitty movie, looking at the stars. He even tried to do some physical exercises and get tired. Nothing worked. 

If he couldn’t fall asleep, then there is only one option left. He picked his phone from nightstand and started scrolling through his Tumblr. He watched YouTube, read some stories on the Internet, and didn’t even notice how sun began rising. 

‘When did that happen?’ 

Well, he certainly didn’t feel like going to sleep now, his brain was shutting down, but there was no other choice but get up. He has school. If he won’t go, Larry will kick his ass, and Evan will be worried. 

He got dressed and started to write a note to his family. If he stayed in his room little longer, he will go mad. 

‘I’m going to school early. I don’t want breakfast. There is no need to worry.  
-Connor’

Good enough. He took his backpack and headed out.

He didn’t want to ride his car. He would totally crash on his way in his condition. The school was not that far anyway. He could manage it.

By the time he arrived, surprisingly there wasn’t anyone here. He checked the time, and it turns out that he arrived almost an hour earlier.

He headed straight to his classroom. Even teacher didn’t arrive yet. He sat down on the furthest table and pulled out his ear buds.

*Remember me  
Though I have to say goodbye.  
Remember me  
Don’t let it make you cry.  
For even if I’m far away  
I hold you in my heart.  
I sing this secret song to you each night we are apart.  
Remember me.  
…*

This song is from new movie “Coco” that he liked so much! This was one of the best movies he saw in a long time. The songs from it are amazing and he likes each song. But “Remember me” is his favorite. This song is so emotional.

He listened different songs, that nobody actually knew. Like: ‘Stutter’, ‘All eyes on me’, ‘Again’.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice how much time passed. It was always like that. He lost track of time when he listened to music.

He hid his earbuds when the bell rang. He was unlucky. He can’t exactly play on his phone or listen to music right now. All he can do is listen to his history teacher about American founding father Hamilton. While he thought it was very interesting, his eyes were just closing themselves. 

The teacher didn’t notice how Connor was particularly falling asleep at the end of the class. At least he got lucky with one thing. When the bell rang Connor quickly packed his things and pulled out his earbuds. Music is the only thing that can keep sleep away for an hour or so. He made sure to turn on something catchy or energetic.

His mood changed into the mood of the music he was listening, so he didn’t want to sleep now. He could’t even think straight. He was so out of it, he bumped into someone. The earbuds fell out of his ears.

“Ow! Man what the hell?!” That voice was familiar, he already knew who it belonged to.

“Sorry Kleinman, didn’t see you there.” Jared turned around when he heard the familiar voice of Connor Murphy. 

Jared really wanted to yell or make a sarcastic remark, but when he looked at Connor all of the words left his mouth. The guy looked like shit. The bags under his eyes were as dark as night. And he yawned two times for past 7 seconds.

“Shit dude. It’s ok, I guess. What happened to you? You look like ass.” 

“Wow. Thanks Kleinman. That was really nice of you. But you shouldn’t worry. Everything is just fine! I feel fantastic!” Jared narrowed his eyes. Connor was smiling too much and he was too defencive about it. He never acted so strange. He really wanted to ask Connor if he was high, but he knew it would only upset him. The taller teen tried to stop smoking drugs. Besides, he didn’t act like this when he was high. 

“No dude, I’m serious. What in the hell? You look like you didn’t have a good night's rest in awhile.” Connor fell silent, and he was smiling nervously. Jared frowned.

“Wait a minute. Did you sleep today like at all?” Connor laughed a little, not looking Jared in the eyes. 

“Of course I did!” 

“Oooof course you did. How much did you sleep exactly? I hope you can understand that you can’t lie when you are exhausted.” 

“Well...I slept for...an hour or so?” Connor was smiling sheepishly as Jared’s mouth fell.

“What in the hell dude? Why? What is wrong with you?” 

“I said it’s fine! Just drop it. I didn’t feel like sleeping tonight. Sorry I have to go now.” Connor just fled while Jared looked at him running away. That was strange. Too strange. He has to find Evan or Zoe, one of them will know what is going on for sure.

\-----With Evan-----

Evan was sitting in his class waiting for lunch to see Connor. He tried to call and text him, but he didn’t pick up.

“Hey there Evan!” The boy jumped a little at the loud voice. 

“Hi Z-Zoe. How are you?” Zoe smiled at him brightly. He still remembered how that smile made him feel in the past. But now it was nothing compared to Connor’s smile. He smiled at the thought of his boyfriend. Though the fact that he didn’t pick up his calls was still concerning.

“I’m fine! I’m a little worried about Connor though. He left a note saying that he left to school early, and apparently he walked all the way here. His car is still parked near our house.”

“Huh. That’s strange.” Evan knew something was off. He had a feeling in his gut.

“I just hope it’s not his insomnia again…” Zoe said it so quiet, you could have missed it. But Evan heard, and it didn’t make him happy at all.

“Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait. Connor has insomnia?! He never told me about it! What if you are right? This is really bad news! What if something happened to him?! What if...” Zoe tried to stop Evan from rambling, but failed miserably. Well, at least she can get a help from a guy who just approached them.

“Yo Evan! Chill dude! I just saw your boyfriend. He is just fine… Or at least he said he is fine. He looked exhausted. You should totally check on him later.” Jared sit down next to Zoe. They were lucky that the three of them shared class today. It was easier to get through class with friends.

“Oh… So I was right. He didn’t sleep today. Evan, can you please let Connor stay with you for tonight and make sure he sleeps. I don’t want to drag his sleeping ass from school when his body starts to shut down few days of insomnia later again. Trust me, he can fall asleep on his feet when he has his insomnia.” Zoe sighed tiredly. She didn’t want to deal with this again. 

Evan swallowed. “Of course he can! Is it really that bad?”

“Yeah dude totally! I mean, he looked exhausted, but the worst thing is that he doesn’t act like himself. He is walking everywhere with his earbuds on, he is not very aware of his surroundings. He is smiling like crazy all the time, and he doesn’t accept the fact that he is exhausted and actually wants to sleep.” Jared said before Zoe got to say anything. She looked at him sadly and sighed heavily again.

“Yeah that’s basically it. His insomnia is always acting in night. But when it’s day the only thing that can keep him running is music or Internet. But when he tries to sleep, he just can’t. This can go and on until his body just shuts down from pure exhaustion.” Evan didn’t know what to say. He never got to deal with someone with bad insomnia. He didn’t expect it to be that bad.

“Yeah ok, I let him stay tonight but how I can help?!” Evan didn’t understand how he can help Connor in this situation. Zoe smiled brightly.

“Maybe you don’t know it, but my brother is sleeping 10 times better when you are around.” Evan blushed furiously, while Jared was laughing beside her. 

“Also. don’t worry about him not calling you back. He forgets many things when he is exhausted. He probably didn’t even hear your call because his earbuds are always plugged into his phone.” Evan felt a little better. 

“A-alright, I will meet him today after school then. J-Jared, can you please give us a ride to m-my house?” He glanced nervously in Jared’s direction. Jared finally admitted that Evan and him are real friends, and he decided not to be dick all the time. But Evan still felt a little anxious around him.

“Of course man! I think you won’t be able to drag Connor all the way to your house if he falls asleep on the street.” Evan Zoe snickered. Evan on the other hand just glared at Jared.

“Not funny Jared.”

The bell rang and they all fell silent. Evan kept thinking about Connor. He was really worried. He knew Connor can get in trouble easily. And if he gets in trouble in his condition, then it would end badly.

He tried to text Connor from time to time, but it never worked. He tried to find him at lunch time, but he couldn’t find the taller teen. 

At the end of school day, Evan finally saw his boyfriend waiting him outside the school. Even from distance he saw that his hair was a mess. Connor always took good care of his hair. He can’t remember single time it looked that bad. He was listening to music, just like Zoe said. He was swaying a little from side to side, but it seems he didn’t even notice it.

Evan ran up to him, and hugged him from behind. “Connor! I missed you today! Why didn’t you tell me you have insomnia?!” The taller boy whipped around instantly, hearing those words.

“Hi Evan. So I assume my sister told you about that huh? Sorry. You don’t have to worry, it’s *yawn* fine.” Evan looked Connor in the eyes. His normally lively eyes were so tired. They were more gray, than his usual blue colour.

“You are not fine at all! A-are you kidding me?! Have looked in the mirror today. You look like a zombie! … Sorry… I didn’t mean to yell, but I’m just concerned.” Evan looked down suddenly embarrassed for his outburst. He really didn’t mean to be that harsh, but it was true.

“It’s alright. I know I look probably like shit, but I’m used to not sleeping, so it’s fine.” Connor tried his best to smile, but Evan knew it was a forced one.

“M-maybe you want to stay with m-me tonight? Zoe said that she will tell your parents. Jared is waiting for us to give a ride to my house. What do you say?” They stood there for a few minutes. Connor had hard time processing even small amounts of information. The shorter boy honestly didn’t mind it. After some time Connor just nodded.

Evan took his arm and began heading to Jared’s car. 

The car ride was surprisingly silent. Connor almost fell asleep leaning on Evan. 

When they arrived Evan shook Connor’s shoulder gently to get his attention. The pale boy looked at him with misty eyes and getting out of car, saying quite ‘Thanks’ to Jared.

Evan glanced at Connor with worry. The taller teen didn’t even try to hide his exhaustion anymore.

“Hey. Take care of him, ok?” Evan looked at Jared with a look of surprise clearly present on his face. Jared did care about his friends, even though he had a terrible way of showing it most of the time.

“Ok. T-thanks for the ride Jared. B-bye.”

“See ya dude.”

Connor already entered the house, while he was speaking to Jared. Connor had keys from his house, because Evan hated people ringing the door. He never knew who they are, and he got really anxious opening the door to other people.

Connor headed toward Evan’s room, while Evan decided to heat some pizza from the fridge. As far as he knew, his boyfriend didn’t eat anything today. 

When he entered the room he was shocked to see sleeping Connor Murphy, who was snuggling into his bed sheets. And here he thought, he would need some sleeping pills to help Connor sleep. 

It seems what Zoe said was true. When Evan was around Connor fell asleep 10 times better. 

Evan sighed with relief. He placed a plated on his table and sat at the edge of the bed near Connor.

Connor looked really cute when he slept. Connor looked pretty cute in general for Evan, but the taller boy always declined the fact that he was cute. 

Connor’s hair fell onto his face and tickled his nose, causing him to sneeze. Evan chuckled lightly and brushed his hair away from his face. 

‘At least he can sleep peacefully here.’

He yawned slightly, all of this was making him sleepy as well. He texted Zoe saying that her brother is asleep and crawled in bed next to Connor. He kissed the boy’s forehead and smiled. 

“Goodnight Connor.”


End file.
